Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Bend or Break

Greetings Happy People,

Do you know someone that is stuck in that one-way thinking?

The person that always has that mind set on one thing and ONLY that one thing.

No matter what people tell them, they never seems listen to reason.

For these people, it’s always my way or the highway. While it maybe good to have that mind set on a goal, you got to show some flexibility. I believe that there is always more than one way to get things done. One of my favorite sayings is the following:


– Jesse Oakley I-I-I

This means that if one way does not work; find another way to get it done!! Not to long ago, I went to a Toastmaster meeting. The attendance was scarce. Before the meeting started, I was asked to do three different roles. Being a seasoned Toastmaster, I volunteered. As the meeting went along, I can see why the attendance was pretty scarce.

One person dominated the show. It just wasn’t any Toastmaster, it was one of those Toastmasters that “knew everything.” Seeing this person in action made my head ache because it is always my way or the highway. This person wanted to do things in certain ways. If anyone tries to show this person a different way to get things done, forget it!! This person will not bend!!

In the beginning, this club had a pretty good attendance. As time passed, the attendance became smaller and smaller. Why? Because this person will not bend!! Instead it’s always, “My way is this way” or “My way is that way.” The person is hard to reason with. Many seasoned Toastmasters try to help this club. But thanks to this one-track mind, they were quickly turned off and walked away. I spoke to different people about this person and they confirmed my suspicions.

This year I am serving as the Lt. Governor of Marketing for my Toastmaster District. My responsibility is to oversee the welfare of membership and clubs all over the District. From my own aspect, I can just shake my head. Why? Because if this person does not bend soon, the whole club will break!! And that will hurt on all levels: Club, Area, Division, District, Region, AND International.

If I can talk to this person face to face, I would have this person look at where the club got started and where it is right now. Then I will ask if they notice a difference. If this person does, then change is possible. If not, then there is no way this person can be helped. And once this club breaks, this person’s reputation will also break as well!!

Everybody has goals. Everybody has visions. Everybody wants to meet those visions and goals. But if people try to use the one-track system to get those goals, they will not go very far. Sometimes, you have to bend towards different options to get things done. The more roads you have, the better the chance you have to get to that destination. From a person that has lived through this logic many times, it is always better to bend than break. Because when you break, you will be broken.

That is all I have for now. Take care and thank you for your time and attention.


Jesse I-I-I

Monday, September 27, 2010

You Have a Choice

Greetings Happy People,

You have a choice.

You have a choice on how you want to live. You have a choice on what you want to be. You have a choice on where you want to go in life. When it comes to deciding what path you want to take, you have that power!!

I realized this revelation for myself a few years ago. Before my walls broke, I felt that I had no choice, no say, and no rights on what I wanted to do with my life. I thought that my life was tied around to my profession. I thought that my life was tied to the things I don’t want in life. Boy was I wrong.

When the walls broke, I realized that I have the power to do what I want without feeling guilty about what other people think. I chose to hang out with more positive people instead of those that are not. Instead of hanging around those perpetual alcoholics, I chose to be with people wanting to be better in what they do. Instead of hanging around people that like to sit around, smoke, and complain about things, I chose to be with people that want to be successful. Instead of sitting around doing nothing, I chose to do something. Ever since I made those decisions, many doors have opened up for me!!

What opportunities have I accomplished since my walls broke? Let’s take a look!!

1. I have a wonderful fiancée that I love very much.
2. I met with friends that I have not seen in 16 or 17 years.
3. I created a blog that is exclusively for “happy people.”
4. I travelled to numerous places and vacation destinations.
5. I am gaining more leadership experience and more friends in a certain organization
6. I wake up feeling less pain than I usually do
7. I meditate more frequently causing me to have a much cooler head.
8. I receive and give love to happy folks from all over the world.
9. I chose to steer clear of negative people and have more positive in my life.

These are just a few things that I have done since my walls broke. While I am able to do all of these things, what are the negative people doing? Probably still sitting at home drinking like a fish. Probably still standing around smoking and complaining about more things under the sun. Probably feeling less empowered thinking that there is no hope to improve themselves. These people are travelling a downward spiral that I choose not to be a part of.

For those people out there that are thinking if they can make these choices, all I got to say is that you will never know unless you try. Go ahead and take that first step and take another one after that. If you have any fear about what lies ahead for you, forget them!! Instead of having fear hold you back, think about the possibilities you can get. You do have that choice in life and no one is going to take it from you!!

Anything is possible when you make that choice to break your own walls.

That is all I have for now. Take care and thank you for your time and attention.


Jesse I-I-I

The Value of a Happy Heart

Greetings Happy People,

Thump-thump Thump-thump

Thump-thump Thump-thump

That’s the sound of a heart.

The heart is one of the most important organs in the human body. It pumps the blood through the blood vessels by an interesting beat rhythm. Taking care of the heart is important because without it, you can not live.

There are many good ways to take care of a heart. You can take care of your heart physically by eating right and exercising. You can take care of your heart emotionally by doing the things you love to do. To ensure proper functioning, you can also get your heart check out by a cardiologist. No matter how you slice it, a happy heart equals a happy life.

Unfortunately, there are some of us out there that take our hearts for granted. Everyday life, stress, and pressure would put our hearts in bad shape. Eating what we should not eat can also contribute to a poor heart. When we do not take care of our hearts, we pay for it.

With all the technology that is going on in the world today, we can replace our hearts. However, it will never be the same. An artificial heart may help one live, but it will not allow one to really live. Our hearts are very important. They allow us to feel, love, and live. When one is able to see the true joy a heart can bring, it can only be a fantastic thing.

How can we ensure that our hearts be happy? It is up to us. We have the power to give our hearts the joy we can give it. In return, the heart will give us that same joy in return. Whether it is through physical activities, or something emotional, we contribute our own happiness to our hearts.

There are things in the world that makes us feel good. Children, grandchildren, loved ones, pets, friends, and hobbies are just a few examples on what brings us joy. These same joyful things also make our hearts happy too!! Just think!! If we are able to do more of these things, we will be better off by living longer lives!!

Being a man that has a family history of heart problems, I can only hope to end this trend by treating my heart in a positive light. If I am able to do the things that make my heart happy, I will hear the following sound for many years:

Thump-thump Thump-thump

Thump-thump Thump-thump

These beats can make a difference.

That is all I have for now. Take care and thank you for your time and attention.


Jesse I-I-I

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Open Door Leadership

Greetings Happy People,

Have you ever taken on a leadership role?

Whether it involves work, community, or organizations, many people have stepped up to different leadership roles. Some experiences were good, others weren’t so great. No matter the outcome, the people that take on these leadership roles will always be better off than the people that never stepped up.

Whether it was good or bad, the leadership roles I’ve held brought in tremendous amounts of learning experience. I not only learn what I can and cannot do, but how I can improve myself and become better. Throughout the process, I made amazing friends, gained few adversaries, and created levels of credibility I could never imagine.

On any given day, people wonder if it is worth it to just step up and take on a leadership role. They have the “What ifs,” the “How coulds,” and the”Should I’s” Some people would never take on any leadership roles due to a bad experience. If I were to talk to a person that feels this way, I can only offer these following words:

“Leadership is like a door. If you go through it, you can gain wonders of experiences. If you don’t go through it, you can only wonder.”

Those people that choose not to go through the door can only wonder what is on the other side. They can wonder about this, and they can wonder about that, but all they can ever do is wonder. People that go through the door will be better off because they are the ones that better themselves through experience.

I can write more about the benefits of leadership. I can talk to someone about the rewards of leadership. However, for one to experience the learning process, one must take those steps and learn for themselves. The road may start off rough, but with time it gets a little smoother. If I can take those steps and be better for it, I am sure that others can do it too. Everyone has the same starting line, but where the finish line lies is up to that individual.

For those people that decide to take on leadership roles, I give you my own personal kudos. It is not an easy road, but you decide to go forth and make your trails that others will follow. You are creating legacies that will be lived for a long time.

For those people that decide not to take on leadership roles, all I got to say is that it is your decision to make. However, if you ever decide to come through that door, you are more than welcome to do so. Only you have that power to make that decision.

That is all I have to say for now. Take care and thank you for your time and


Jesse I-I-I

Monday, September 13, 2010

The Other Side of the Coin

Greetings Happy People,

For today’s post, I am going to go on a very different path.

As many of you know, I am part of an organization called Toastmasters International. This organization is about improving one’s communication and leadership skills through a positive friendly environment. For more than 85 years, millions of people benefited by joining this organization. From Toastmasters, we have successful leaders, business people, and amazing personalities.

With all this positive energy, it is hard to believe that there could be anything negative about this organization. Like many things in life, there are two different sides of the coin. There is a positive side and a negative one.

The one thing that really breaks my heart about this organization is someone not having fun learning as much as they can. Now and then, there are people that want to improve their communication and leadership skills, but there are situations that make things uncomfortable for the individual. Whether it involves certain businesses, people, or anything else. There are those discouraging moments where one wants to just leave the organization on a very bad note.

Throughout my 15-year experience in Toastmasters, I have seen those moments. Every time I see them, it hurts me to the point where it breaks my heart. Sometimes, I go by myself and just cry. I cry because of the lost potential that could have been. It may not be something I have control over, but it hurts big time. Damn!! I am crying right now just thinking about it!!

My first experience in this happened five years ago. That was when I served as an Area Governor for the first time. I served 5 clubs. One of those clubs met at the Las Vegas Review Journal - a local newspaper establishment. One January, I walked in for a visit and the President told me that the club has disbanded because the company would not fund it anymore. My jaw hit the floor. I could not believe it. When I got home, I wondered if anymore could have been done to help that club. I also thought about those people that were in that club. They were some good friendly folks too. It was a shame that it folded. For a while, I kicked myself. As heartbreaking as that was, I came to a realization that it was out of my control.

There are people that also left this organization because of other people too. Somehow, personalities would clash to the point where it gets pretty messy. Words are exchanged. Feelings are hurt. Fingers are pointing. Accusations are made. Seeing these things is like watching a tragic Shakespearean play. You know something is coming at the end – and it is not a good thing. These things hurt because I don’t like seeing people get into any unnecessary confrontations where both parties get hurt and NO ONE WINS!! Again, this is heartbreaking for me.

Of all the heartbreaking things I have seen in Toastmasters, people would often ask why I never leave. Well, I can give you the following answers:

1. I love the organization too much. This is one good hobby that I have found worthwhile to be a part of. It is one of the passions I enjoy.

2. Of the entire negative that can happen in this organization, I still find positive people and made some good friends in the process. That is something I am grateful for.

3. No matter what happens, good or bad, I just keep walking. That is the advice I give to many people when they either join or undertake any leadership role.

With this, I will bring the following post to a close. Before I end this, I have some words to say. If I can talk to someone that is going through a heartbreaking moment, I first give my apologies that their Toastmasters experience was not what they expected. Another bit of advice I will give is that no matter how good or bad things get, just keep walking. Like different points in my life, I have walked through storms and sun shines. The more you walk through them, the stronger you will become. All you have to is just keep walking. Trust me. You will be stronger for it.

That is all I have for now. Take care and thank you for your time and attention.


Jesse I-I-I

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Courage Past Fear

Greetings Happy People,

My name is Jesse Oakley I-I-I.

On weekdays, I work as an Associate Engineer in my “Clark Kent” job.

But is that who I REALLY am? No.

Beneath the position, I am something more than this vocation. I am a brother, a son, a friend, and I-I-I (an Incredibly Inspiring Individual)!! Nothing makes me better than the next guy. Nothing makes me worse than the other person. I am simply me and I like myself!!

I believe that there are souls dwelling in our bodies. Some are good ones, while others need a little work. If we take the time to look at the insides of the person, we can find something that is more than one can expect!!

Unfortunately, we live in a world where people don’t take the time to look inside a real person. We let our own personal barriers block the vision of another person. Whether it is skin color, religion, occupation, gender, physical looks, or anything else, people can not go past those walls to see the real person. Why? I think it can be summed up in four letters: F-E-A-R.

Fear creates many paths of negativity. It creates ignorance, anger, doubt, and hatred. Many people thoughts and beliefs are spawned from this small four letter word. Little do they know, this same fear will come back to them like a boomerang. The more fear they put out, the more they will get back.

In order to break this fear, one needs not to fight it. Instead, it can only be faced. It is surprising to know how courage can conquer any fear one may have. With courage you can make those steps to go past the layers and just know a person. By then, you will be able to know what a person is really like. Who knows? Friendships can be created this way!!

Will the whole world realize this thought? Not really. But I hope that an individual can take the time out to show enough courage in removing their own walls. If the person is able to do that, than that will be one person that will not have to settle things by fists, guns, or wars. And that is one step closer to where this world can be. All it takes is for people to remove their walls and see who the person is. Oh how worlds can change when this is done!!

That is all I have for now. Take care and thank you for your time and attention.


Jesse I-I-I

Monday, September 6, 2010

Under the Microscope

Greetings Happy People,

I had someone told me something interesting today. Somebody told me that I was being watched. Watched for what? I have no idea. Am I scared about this? Not really. All I can be is myself. Whether it is through my job, my hobbies, or writing the latest post for you happy people, I am going to do what I am going to do. This is because I like doing the things I do without having to worry about someone “watching me.”

In all honesty, I feel quite honored because someone is taking their time to look at what I am doing. Instead of doing things for themselves or having their own lives to life, they would rather watch what I do, live, say, and breathe. For the watchers “watching me,” I hope they like what they see. If they do, than they can enjoy what I post, what I write, and what I do in my life. Hopefully these watchers can inspire other folks in their community. If they do not like what they see, all I can say is that I’m sorry. I can only be me and no one else.

Being in many things allow me to be under someone’s microscope. There are two types of views that people can take when they look at me under the microscope. The first view come from the negative people. These negative people watch me under the microscope to find any possible thing to bring me down. These people spend their time poking holes and digging for whatever they possibly can on me. These negative people will not be satisfied until I am brought down. I don’t know about you happy people, but that is a lot of energy to waste looking at what I am doing.

On the other side of the coin, there are positive people that like what I am doing. Whether it involves helping people out, serving the community, or making things better for some folks, these positive people get inspired by it. Of all the maladies that can happen in the world, these positive people look at me in a bright light because I am doing something positive not only for myself, but for other people too!!

No matter what I do, I will still be Mr. I-I-I. Am I under someone’s microscope? Yes I am!! Will there be positive and negative people looking at me? Yes there will be!! Am I going to worry about this for as long as I live? I don’t think so!! While others watch what I do, I am going to just keep doing what I do. Hopefully, if we have more doers in this world than watchers, this world can move better than before. All we have to do is keep moving and give folks something worth watching!!

That is all I have for now. Take care and thank you for your time and attention.


Jesse I-I-I

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Skin Deep

Greetings Happy People,

No matter how one looks on the outside, nothing compares to one’s inner beauty.

As I go out to different places at night, I see women dressed up in some interesting clothing. How interesting? Let me remind you that I live in Las Vegas, Nevada. Whatever happens in Vegas, is unbelievable.

Some girls would dress up in something completely outrageous. No matter if they can fit in these type of clothes or not, they try to give that sexy image. Whether it is overage, underage, or somewhere in between, more ladies are getting into those things they now call dresses. Are they really trying to impress themselves or somebody else? What is the overall message they are giving to the world? I don’t what it is, but I can only shake my head.

It annoys me that some of these women would use their appearance to get whatever they want. Whether it involves cutting in front of the line at a restaurant or persuading someone to look at things in a different way, these ladies seem to have an advantage. Or do they? Again, it all lies in the message they are giving to the world. And that message can get them into more trouble than what it is worth.

When the outer beauty is gone, where can they go? There are two places I can think of. One is to preserve the outer beauty by resorting to cosmetic surgery. The other is to simply take a good look in the mirror. Behind the clothing, behind the flesh, behind the exterior lies the inner beauty. If one takes the time to look at it, there would be no need to mask what one has inside. Why? Because they are beautiful enough where they don’t need to wear those attention getting clothes. They are just beautiful!!

Time and time again, people ask why I go out with certain people that don’t fit their standards of beauty? The answer is simple!! Instead of focusing on just the outer beauty, I also look at what they have inside. I have had some great relationships by using this thought. Heck, I have a great relationship with a beautiful woman right now!! Every time I look at her smile, I can also see her inner beauty. That is a good thing to have.

As I return to some of these night time places in Las Vegas, and see those women in those interesting clothes, I can only wonder if they took the time out to look at their inner beauty. If they do, then they will ask themselves why. If not, who knows?

That is all I have for you today. Take care and thank you for your time and attention.


Jesse I-I-I

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