Greetings happy people,
“Why don’t you find some other boy to mess with your blubber?!!”
This comment was made to the person I am currently dating.
The person that made this comment had never met her.
This person never took the time know her personality.
Instead, this person only saw a picture of what she looks like.
No matter whom you are, being the recipient of any message like this hurts. How can you make a comment like that not knowing the actual person? How can you have that much anger against someone you really do not know? When I found out who had made this comment to my girlfriend, I was angry!! It was someone that I least expected. I was filled with so much rage that I wanted to rip the person’s head off!! I had my own shouting match with this person. We traded verbal blows until the point where I found more words a worthless endeavor.
Other than my girlfriend and me, the only person that this comment hurt was the one giving it. Instead of creating a bigger war, I just ignored whatever was spewing out of this person’s mouth. I did not want to talk to someone that could make this ignorant remark. Heck, I really don’t want to be in the same room with this person!! My trust in this person is gone. When my trust in someone is lost, it is VERY hard to get it back.
There were three self-destructive processes that happened throughout this mess: resentment, resistance, and revenge.
Resentment is any emotional response that can be viewed as negative. The beginning quote at my girlfriend generated plenty of resentment. This act not only hurt my girlfriend, but it also killed my trust with that person. This first “R” can be seen as the starting catalyst for something disastrous. One way to combat this process is to let go of it as soon as possible. The longer one holds it in, the worse it will become!!
Resistance is not accepting what is. A good example of resistance in this story was the person never meeting my girlfriend. Instead, this person saw only a picture of her and created a snap judgment based on her looks. Had this person taken the time to know my girlfriend, this destructive process would not have existed. Resistance creates barriers for everyone!! A good tactic to combating resistance is one simple, friendly word….”Hello.” That start alone establishes communication and breaks down any resisting wall a person might have erected.
The third and final “R” is revenge. Revenge is basically getting even with someone. Yes, I confess that my response can be seen as a form of revenge. Getting into a shouting confrontation was not a good idea. Instead of focusing on the negative, I could have focused more attention on my girlfriend. She was the one that the comments were hurled at. She is someone positive in my life and should be treated with greater respect. Revenge not only escalates tense situations, but also kills any dream one would have. Before we go off on our instinct, we must gather ourselves and look at things before we leap at them.
What I would like to tell to you in this blog is very important. As long as we are human, we have either faced this experience or thrown it in someone’s face. Either way, this is not a good thing. Wars have been created due to resentment, resistance, and revenge. Not just the wars between different countries, religions, or ideologies, but also by we individuals. The only way that this vicious cycle can be stopped is by ourselves.
We have the power to reverse the ignorance into something better. Together we can avoid the blinding ignorance and make this a blissful place for all of us to live.
That is all I have for now. Take care and thank you for your time and attention.